Fat Girl on a Bike

- Swimming in the ocean while there’s a small craft advisory and yellow flag might not be a smart idea.
- Swimming through seven foot waves is really disorienting.
- Watch for the damn rip currents before diving in — you know that froth that appears in stripes up and down the coast? That white stripe marks where the damn current is. (Yes, I know this is a vague description, but it works for me. And since they are notes to ME, that’s all that matters.)
- Dive through the damn waves if you are where they’re breaking. Otherwise, just ride the swell if you’re beyond the break.
- Occasionally take a look or two at the horizon in order to avoid seasickness.
- Don’t swallow any water that gets into your mouth. It will just make you puke.
- Butterfly (that is, really strong butterfly) will get you (me) through the hardest swells a lot easier than freestyle or breaststroke.
- Be very thankful that lifeguards are on duty, even if they compliment you for being a really strong swimmer. Well, be thankful (and slightly bashful) for that as well.
- Getting smashed into the beach hurts and cuts the hell out of skin.
- Getting sand out of places it shouldn’t be hurts even more, especially if you were stuck wearing your swim suit for the next nine hours.
- There are no rules on breathing as long as you get enough air. It doesn’t have to be graceful or rhythmic. All you gotta do is get air — preferably before the next big-ass wave smacks right into you.
- Practice makes perfect — the more you dive through those waves and the more you’re out there, the easier the nerves get.

Oh yeah, swimming in the ocean in the shark bite capital of the world could make a girl feel more like bait than a swimmer.

I guess I’m spoiled by living in areas where power failures aren’t very common and if they do happen, they somehow wake me up. This one didn’t. I guess it happened around 2am, but it was enough to mess up my alarm so it did not go off at 4:45 like I planned.

Instead, I woke up around 6:45am, wondering why there was light shining through the windows. It was such pretty light, but it was unexpected. That’s when I saw the blinking green numbers.

Of course, I packed my car the night before and my laptop was off and in its case. I remembered I left J’s number on a pad of paper in the kitchen, so I ran, grabbed it and gave her a breathless (and very hoarse) call just to let her know I didn’t bail on her or the TRIgirls and that I would be in Richmond in about 2 hours. You have no idea how frustrating that is, especially on the first day. Especially when I’m compulsively punctual.

I got dressed, ran out the door with the final things to throw in the car and was on my way (with a wet bike, I might add.) The drive went quickly and took almost exactly 2 hours.

Got there, met up with people, had a fantastic ride. I rode one loop with Annn and then we stopped to chat (and so I could pee in the woods. 20 ounces of coffee REALLY sucks after 2 hours in a car. Thankfully I didn’t get any on me. I did, however, manage to step in a pretty deep puddle. Twice.)

Most everyone was on their ways out or heading out for their run by the time I got to the second loop. I only got in 25 miles total, but they felt pretty strong for not having ridden that far in about four months. The group seemed very laid back. People went at their own pace and it didn’t feel like a race to get everything done as fast as possible. Perhaps that mindset is different when you’re actually on time, but it gave me a good first impression. I met a lot of people, none of which I remember names or faces. But I know I met you :-)

Since I was alone (or was being passed by people I didn’t know) I just enjoyed being out there, pushing and trying some new techniques (ones that aren’t easy to work with around the Hill City) and had a lot of fun. The weather was chilly, damp and very windy by that third loop and I seriously considered throwing in the towel after 18 miles, but I reminded myself how good it would feel to do the full workout and how I could sleep a little better at night knowing I didn’t short myself when I could have. Besides, I told myself, I kind of like riding in that type of weather.

Today’s ride was really important to get in. I haven’t had very good biking days lately and I needed to see if I could do the Kerr Lake distance. I think Kerr Lake is a tad hillier than the West Creek loop, but my hill fitness has really improved in the last few months. My fitness on flats, however, is a whole ‘nother story.

Unfortunately, I was in Fairfax by the time I realized I forgot the REALLY important box that needed to be mailed ASAP. I rented a wetsuit from F2R for SML, but not only did it arrive two days AFTER the race, it was the wrong type of suit. It wasn’t what I ordered (sleeveless sockeye) and it wasn’t anything like the person on the phone described they’d be sending (a shortie). There was no way I would be able to wear it or want to wear it, so I was going to send it back. Except the rental was for 29 days starting the moment I placed the order. It had to go back by Monday for it to have a chance of getting there in time to get my deposit back. I won’t even be back in Lynchburg until NEXT Monday. That was $140 I really couldn’t afford nor did I want to spend for something I will never use. Let’s just say I’m not happy right now.

Tomorrow starts an adventure I’ve been waiting months for. I didn’t even know I would be going for sure until less than four weeks ago. Here’s to hoping I don’t melt under the South Florida sun. I wish I could bring my bike, but that’s money and a lot of hassle without any promise I’ll actually put it back together and ride it.

About a year ago, Jonah approached me at a race to tell me about her training group, saying she thought I’d be a great addition. It was the start of an awesome friendship, but at that time I didn’t think the group was what I needed and decided to keep plugging away on my own. At the end of the season, I began thinking about the next step and finding some form of coaching and her team came back up.

I really wanted to join the group then, but something kept me from approaching the coach and taking that plunge.

Earlier this week, with the urging of Jonah and Annn, I took the plunge and officially joined up with TRIgirl training, an all-female group in Richmond. While I can’t make most of the group workouts, I’ll be able to occasionally make a few as well as have team support and guidance. It will be more work to form those team relationships by distance than if I were in Richmond, but I have a lot of hope for what this season will bring.

I’m sad to say goodbye to Joe, but he and I both agree that it’s for the best. He taught me a lot and I’ll be taking those lessons with me. I hope he drops in occasionally to say hello.

On that note, I’ve changed a bunch of my season around in order to make my life simpler and to try some new things that I know will be a lot of fun. I’ve not officially signed up for anything beyond Kerr Lake AV, but my plans are already in the works for much more open water swimming (including a distance swim event) and a lot of riding. I’ll do some running to keep up some of the fitness and perhaps start running a little more seriously again this fall.

That’s where things stand and I’m excited, yet very nervous, about everything. I broke a big psychological barrier yesterday morning on the bike and I intend to do it a lot more. Too bad I’ll be out of town all next week (and don’t get me started on worries I won’t be ready for Kerr Lake because I lost a week of training.)

Ironic that my mind thinks my body has fully recovered from SML, yet my body hasn’t fully agreed yet. The 1600m I did today was much more exhausting than usual.

- Was so exhausted this morning that I only managed to eat half my bagel. I thought it was a small bagel until I got to the park and realized I’d only had half. D’oh.
- Had several sneezing fits from all the pollen in the air — to the point where one of my rack mates asked if his next ‘bless you’ would cover me for the rest of the day.
- Water was 64 degrees with a pretty good chop and fairly strong current, but OH SO BEAUTIFUL.
- Realized that once I got in the water, it was actually very comfortable and refreshing sans wetsuit. I was colder on the bike at Smithfield than I was in the water at SML.
- Got rather seasick from the waves and had trouble walking to transition because I was so dizzy (and couldn’t see the ground.)
- T1 took forever because I was so dizzy.
- Bike felt absolutely awful for the first 6 miles. Then it felt awesome until mile 10.5. Then for some reason I totally bonked with a such massive wave of weakness washing over my body that I got off the bike to walk to the top of a very minor hill. Once back on the bike, I spewed about a third of the contents in my stomach. Felt better, though riding back through the pack of runners was a little nerve wracking.
- Realized I need a new nutrition plan on the bike because what I’m doing isn’t cutting it. Accelerade is totally fired.
- Had to walk to my rack in T2, which was at the far end of the area.
- Walked most of the 5K, but did run quite a bit of the downhills and ran a significant portion of the last part of the race.
- Saw several vultures circling over the turn around. Wasn’t sure if they were for me or for someone else :-)
- Hit the finish line during the middle of the awards ceremony and there were no photogs. Sad because I actually had a smile on my face as opposed to last time, when I looked like I was about to die.
- Have some pretty gnarly blisters on my feet, though I’m not sure why. I had a feeling that would happen so I changed socks in T2, but sure enough, the toes are in pretty bad shape.
- Was so dehydrated when I got home that my trisuit actually fell off me. Still having trouble getting fluids down and feel like I’ve been hit by a truck (which I’m sure after 10 hours of sleep and several liters of very diluted gatorade, I’ll be fine.)
- Had an amazing time and had a big grin on my face almost the whole time. It was a gorgeous day and I was just enjoying being out there.
- Finished about 2:31. I know the bike was just over an hour and would have been under had I not bonked and barfed. I know the swim was well under 20 minutes. Forgot to calculate the run, but think it’s similar to my other recent 5Ks.
- SO SO SO happy I don’t have to go to work or do anything of substance tomorrow.

Last weekend I had two really really bad workouts back to back. Each time I only managed to complete a small fraction of the assigned workout — each ride less than 9 miles and only one brisk walk where my legs felt like runny jello.

That hit me hard Saturday night, wondering if it was a good idea to do SML when I still feel like crap, I’m still trying to pull myself out of my post-move funk and when I’ve got ugly back-to-back work weeks in terms of stress and heartburn.

It wasn’t until last night that I actually felt like adjusting the seat on my bike, getting on and playing a little bit with it on the trainer (without shoes, natch. Not a smart idea, natch.)

All week, I haven’t been sure if SML will be in my cards, despite having rented a wetsuit (which STILL hasn’t arrived.) My positive side really wants it to happen, for me to get over myself and just go have a nice day. My negative side just wants me to stay home in bed.

E asked me Monday what was the biggest problem right now, the biggest source of stress. Was it moving? Work? Training? Life? What?

Strangely enough, it’s not really any of those. The biggest problem is my bad attitude. I can only push it away for a few moments these days and then it comes creeping back in. My body hurts from all the emotional stress and my pride is still wounded. It doesn’t help that my bike seat wasn’t adjusted properly, I’m sleep deprived from numerous things and my mental strength is only barely back in the black.

Yet, if I have a few moments where I can not think about all the crap going on, I get excited about the race. I feel strong enough to do it. I know that if I can just stand up, move forward and finish with a genuine smile on my face, I will have won.

So that’s how I’m going into this weekend. My goal is to stand up, move forward and finish with a smile. I’m going to soak in all the positive vibes from other racers and to share my own. I’m going there, knowing the hills will hurt and that I will be slow. But, as Annn put it, we do this for fun. That’s the only reason to do this.

(and I will also be out there, thinking and snorting at the thought of Annn doing an impropmtu half mary at Pink White Lake. But only because she’s so totally awesome.)

“The water is estimated to be in the upper 60’s. Neoprene swim caps are legal and encouraged.”

“Wetsuits are HIGHLY recommended but are not mandatory. Neoprene caps are also highly encouraged.”

I think they’re serious about the neoprene cap. Problem is I don’t have one. I just have ninety bazillion silicone/lycra/latex caps.

I’m also hoping the wetsuit I rented actually fits. I had to jump through some hoops and play with some sizing, but here’s to hoping it fits, keeps me warm (though I’ll be in the water less than 25 minutes) and I don’t panic in it.

One week to race day, though for some reason it feels much farther away. Here’s to hoping my quads and ITBs stop screaming enough to get a good run in this weekend. Frankly, here’s to hoping I have some bloody motivation to do anything other than hide in bed this weekend.

There are a lot of things swirling around and the more I sleep on them, the better I feel about the decisions I made recently.

The most important thing right now is to simplify my life and learn to trust my decisions. It’s not just trusting my decisions, but also not letting others sway me when I make an unpopular one such as the one I’m about to share publicly.

There are so many people trying to tell me what to do and almost all of them have their own personal biases injected into things. It’s great that so many people want me to succeed, but I need to listen to one person’s advice and that’s my coach. He’s there for a reason and he knows me better (and has known me longer) than anyone currently involved in the athletic side of my life. I listened to other people sway me about Angel’s Race after I decided not to do it and things ended badly.

Last week Coach Joe recommended that I withdraw from Eagleman. At first I was adamantly against the recommendation, but the next morning I realized he’s right. It’s not that I can’t do the race. It’s more that it’s not worth the stress to push myself right now when my entire life has just been upended and that I just found out I’ll be out of town for a week during the middle of May for work.

I’m blessed with having two gigantic passions in my life — my career and racing. But lately they’ve competed against each other in such a way that I no longer want anything to do with either of them. In the past few months I’ve actually started hating my job because it gets in the way of my training and I’ve started hating training because it gets in the way of my job. I’m too young to be burned out like this and I want to stop the progression and get back to enjoying my life.

So instead of pushing to do Eagleman — pushing to do a distance that is difficult at best — I’m going to scale down things a few notches and get back into a rhythm where I have a little bit of challenge in my life, but not so much that I resent both my job and my training because they interfere with each other.

I’ve decided to do a different aquavelo that’s a week earlier than Eagleman. It’s only about a two hour drive from here and is more manageable distance in terms of training (international, for those wondering.)

I’ve shed a lot of tears over this because I really really wanted to do Eagleman. But I’ve also been racing less than two years and I need to slow down. I’m still in the beginning stages of a very demanding career and I have several major opportunities in front of me that require a lot of time outside (and inside) the office. I need to give myself the mental energy to go after those and still reserve enough energy to keep triathloning fun. It’s a balance I’ve not learned to keep yet and this is the time to establish those boundaries.

I’m also going back to keeping things in my life more private, so much of my training and racing details will no longer be posted here. Writing about it isn’t stressful, it’s the constant flow of responses that I don’t have time to get to and it’s also the stress of knowing that my life is out there for everyone to examine and critique. I despise being used as an example for whatever political agenda one might have and I’m further removing myself from that exposure.

As Coach Joe put it, it’s all about simplifying my life so that my training and race preparation is done properly. I will be in this sport a long time and I have no desire to run away or stop doing what I’m doing. I just need to find that balance so I continue loving what I do.

I don’t give up and I don’t quit. It’s very hard to let go of Eagleman this year, but I know it’s the right thing and the mature and responsible thing to do. I’ve slept on this decision for four nights and each morning the sadness lessens. I take that as a sign that I’m on the right track.

Four days after Angel’s Race, I’m still not sure what to think. I’ve talked to a lot of people about various components that happened, but few know the whole story. I think I’m going to keep it that way. An upset stomach (that still hasn’t recovered fully) was just one of the many difficulties and I don’t think I care to revisit any of them again. It’s over, it’s done, time to move on.

I learned that I’m a hell of a lot tougher than I’ve ever given myself credit for and I now know I can push through a lot more pain and weakness than I ever thought was possible, even when the emotional reserve tank is on fumes. This is the message and lesson I’m walking away with.

Sunday night I wondered if I would have the stomach to get back on the bike or do anything for a while. The exhaustion was much more mental than I realized. But once the move was completed Tuesday afternoon, the keys handed over, etc., I noticed a big change in my mood. I had the strength to swim what felt like a comfortable 1600m yesterday and I’m suddenly looking forward to a track workout this evening and a weekend full of long rides and bricks.

My life has been so insane the last few months that I have a hard time remembering that I’ve done two triathlons in less than three weeks. It’s only the middle of April and I already have two new numbers. But Sunday’s race bib and shirt likely will remain buried for a long time, only to be pulled out when I need a brutal reminder of how tough I am.

Number of multi-sport races completed since Oct. 2006: 10
Number of times I got off the bike today: 4
Number of times I got off the bike last week on the same course: 12
Number of people who passed me: lost count
Estimated finishing time: 2:43
Number of people who cheered me by name: have no idea, but it was way more than usual
Amount of Accelerade consumed: ~35 ounces (pre race and on the bike. That’s a typical amount and I usually don’t make it full strength.)
Number of Hammer Gel shots consumed: 4
Number of times I puked on the run: 6
Amount of time I spent in the medic tent (well ambulance): about an hour
Blood pressure after I damn near passed out: 105/68
Blood pressure after sipping some water and resting: 120/80
Number of people who saw me spew: Not that many, I hope.
Number of times I thought about not starting: Many more than usual
Number of times I thought about quitting during the race: 0

I told someone at a water stop, near where I first blew chunks, that I would finish no matter what. I slowly walked across the finish line this time.

I knew there was a problem this morning when all I could think about was how I didn’t want to be there today, how I wanted to be home in bed and how there was no excitement, just dread and annoyance. I never want to see fruit punch-flavored Accelerade again in my life. Lord knows how much of it now lines the Blackwater Creek trail.

Full race post-mortem to come, but not for a long time. This girl has a lot of contemplation to do about many things. She already knows why she didn’t want to do the race (and it had nothing to do with the hills or the fact that she moved the day before.)

I made the decision yesterday morning after TK pointed it out. It’s insane to try to move the day before a race, she said. So why not move the next weekend.

Except I want out of this situation ASAP. I want my life back. I sign the lease in the morning and pick up the keys Friday. I’m hiring movers to do all the work. And Angel’s Race is likely going to be a spectating event (if I can even get out of bed.)

I made a promise a while back that training and racing would not affect my job and my job would not affect training and racing. Problem is, life is totally dominating both right now. I need my life back before I can even focus on training and work. So that’s what I’m going to get.

However, I will leave open the possibility that if I wake up feeling like a million bucks and like I can conquer the world, I’ll go and race. But I’m not picking up my packet Saturday and I’m not making the final decision until Sunday morning.

There will be plenty of other races. SML is in less than a month and I’ll be super ready for that. Once I get my life back (and by moving, I’m making many other things in my life easier) I can feel better about going on that 30 mile training ride out in the middle of nowhere. I won’t have to play by the laundromat’s hours or other crap.

I’m comfortable with this decision. Sad, but comfortable. I’m also secretly relieved. I didn’t want to DNF in the hometown race, where pride plays more of a factor than performance (be quiet JP.)

Maybe next year. Third time is the charm, right?

I started kicking myself about four hours ago for not riding on River Road at least once a week since February. Yes, I’m aware that my health and work obligations made that pretty much impossible, but good god. I knew this bike course was a bitch, but I’m trying to keep the number of times I get off the bike to fewer than the number of fingers I have.

I guess I know what next year’s goal is: not to get off the bike when going up those damn hills. This year’s goal is to just finish.

Angel’s Race will mark a milestone — it’s the 10th multisport race I’ve done in just over a year. It’s also the hometown race and hands down the most difficult course I’ve done (even if it’s among the shorter ones.)

However, today’s ride just proved to me that it really does take six miles to warm up. I spent the first six miles in total pain and suffering. Once I got beyond that (and Paula told me to small ring it the whole way) the rolls and hills (before I got back to 5th Street) were not too bad — in fact, I was managing 13mph on some of them and I wasn’t small ringing it either.

IN any case, the weather was mid 40s and damp as all hell. I was wearing tights and pretty decent base layers. While I wasn’t cold on the ride, I didn’t realize all of my extremities were numb and that my body temperature had dropped fairly significantly. I stood around in the parking lot for a bit, talking to some riding friends, and after a few minutes my legs locked up to the point where I decided to bag the run part of the brick. I went for a quick hot dinner and when I got home, I realized my body was seriously shivering and my temperature was about 97 degrees. Several hours later, I’m wearing three layers of pajamas, drinking lots of hot tea, and I’m STILL cold.

I only rode 15 miles, but tonight my body feels WORSE than it did after Smithfield. How in the world is that possible?

Don’t expect to hear much from me for the next few weeks. The building in which I currently live was sold and I now have until May 1 to move out. Somehow in there, in between dodging threatening voice mails and letters from lawyers, I have to find time on the weekends to get my rides in and to do Angels Race.

I’m hoping to nail down a place in the next few days, but then begins the moving process, which sucks. Thank god for friends with pickup trucks who are more than willing to share and for friends that might be able to help bring stuff down from the top of the universe.

In addition to the hassle, I’m also very sad because I love this apartment and I’m going to really miss the space and the light. I’m also considering shortening my season by two races because my rent is going to increase and I shouldn’t spend the money (registration, gas, lodging, time, etc.)

I ran Tuesday (only thing I knew to do when I got the news) and swam yesterday. I skipped tonight’s track workout because of the weather and my sore back (the result of sitting in the wrong chair way too much recently.) Tomorrow I’ll swim again (even just for stress relieving purposes and this weekend will be filled with a lot of hard riding and bricking. Not much I can do right now other than pack and bring down to the basement (for ease of when the day comes.)

Anyone who lives in the area is more than welcome to pitch in a helping hand, even just to pack and bring downstairs. I’ll happily provide whatever beverages/food you’d like.

A question people often ask me is why I love doing this so much. There’s no one reason, but a big one is from the second I hit the water to about 20 minutes after I finish, my mind is crystal clear. I can’t think of anything, I can’t hear myself talking to me, there’s nothing. Pure silence. If you had any idea how much nonstop chatter goes on inside my noggin, you’d understand exactly why that few hours of silence is so incredibly alluring.

I hadn’t had that silence in a while. I had it a few times in the pool and once or twice while running or biking, but nothing this intensely calming since probably 3Sports.

I remember telling my dad that I’d never been this calm the day of a race. Since my swim start time wasn’t until almost noon, I hung around inside while wearing sweats — I didn’t put my racing clothes on until 11am. I didn’t even know the race started. I was caught up in deep conversation with a good tri friend and I was just enjoying being in the atmosphere with so many positive people — so many positive people I’ve met over the last year. There were so many warm greetings and hugs and ‘how was your winter’ comments. I may not know people’s stories or much about who they are, but I know their faces and their bikes. While we all come from different backgrounds, lives, dreams and desires, we all share a deep love for this sport.

That said, the best thing about having numb feet and legs is you can’t feel them hurt. That is, until they sort of thaw out – then they REALLY hurt. Forecasts earlier in the week called for sunny and upper 60s – just like last year. Except by Thursday, the update was for upper 40s and brutal winds. We got mid 40s, brutal, damp winds and clouds. At least the rain/sleet/snow held off until Sunday morning.

I have no idea how it’s possible, but there was a stiff 15mph+ headwind on at least 75 percent of the course. I was riding a small ring, my HR was pushing above 160 and I was STILL only going 11mph on flats. I should have been in a big ring and pushing 18mph with my HR about 145.

The swim was fantastic. I was gasping a bit because I was going so hard without having warmed up, but I kept my stroke and form the entire time. The only reason the time was more than 7 minutes was because the mats were a bit away from the end of the pool. I had to be careful to watch where I was walking because I couldn’t see (no glasses) and I just walked to my spot in T1. When I left, I had on a soaking wet suit that stopped at the knee, a pair of socks, a long-sleeve jersey and my helmet. A lot of others put on jackets, tights, gloves, sweats, etc., but I figured I wouldn’t feel the cold and I was right.

I looked down shortly after clipping into my pedals and noticed my skin was BRIGHT RED. That was about the time I dropped my gel flask, said a few choice words and just pushed off. This was not a race I was stopping to pick anything up – the ride was only 10 miles and I knew the weather wasn’t in my favor. Thankfully I remembered to put two gel packets in my back pocket in case I needed anything extra out on the run. The only real problem the entire race was fuel, as in I was close to empty for much of the week before and weekend, including the race.

Pre-riding the course the night before helped a lot with figuring out how much energy I should put into certain ‘hills.’ As I told Greg (the race director) just before I got in the water, I didn’t remember there being hills on this course – but that’s likely only because I didn’t remember the course because I was so in the zone. I also call them ‘hills’ because they were nothing like what I ride on a regular basis around here – they were just nice small rolls that were easy to manage.

I always take my feet out of my shoes before dismounting – it saves time and helps me run faster in the transition area. I suspected my feet were numb when I had trouble putting my feet on top of my shoes and that was confirmed when I hit the ground. However, I managed to get off pretty gracefully AND run all the way through T2 — something I’ve never done before.

Not long into the run my dad passed me and not long after that, I saw Liz and her sister. I saw so many people I knew coming in and that made it all the more fun. My HR wasn’t maxing out like it had during the bike, but I was having a hard time working through the hurt. I’d been at or above anaerobic threshold for an hour and I still had another 2 miles to run – so I brought it down a notch and just walked fast and occasionally did some spurts of running on the slight declines.

On the way back, I finally had a few moments of consciousness and realized how lucky I was to be out there. Yeah it was cold, yeah the wind was kicking our ass, yeah there was no sun, but holy crap it was a beautiful day. There was just this amazing sense of joy and oneness that hit me just about 2.1 miles into the run. I decided to time the last mile – to go as fast as my body would let me. It ended up being 15:38 according to my watch.

Crossing the finish line is always bittersweet. Yes it means you’re done for the day, but it also means you’re done for the day. I love being out there so much that I’m actually quite sad when it ends.

This time there were probably 15 people waiting for me at the finish line – most of which I knew. Everyone wanted to talk or say things, but I couldn’t hear them. I was still in my wonderful happy place and didn’t want to leave. It’s amazing how much I can just retreat into that place and how it gets me through so much. I can’t wait to see how much further it will take me. Hopefully next time I’ll be able to push through the hurt more and go faster on the run. My HR wasn’t maxing out so I know there’s more in there. It’s just after 1.5 hours of going at AT, my quads were just absolutely burning. It was awesome, but I still need to learn to push more.

Angels Race is in two weeks. This week, as soon as the weather and my lungs clear up, I’ll be out riding. It’s time to start stepping up and this race has finally given me the focus I need.

Thanks to all who said hello and introduced themselves. I’m constantly amazed at how many people read this blog. I hope everyone had as good a time as I did.

Full splits:
Swim: 00:07:08
T1: 00:03:02
Bike: 00:45:00
T2: 00:01:33
Run: 00:51:05
Total: 01:47:48

On paper it only looks like I was a few seconds faster than last year.

However, last year the run course was about 2/10ths of a mile too short, so this year they fixed that. That and there was an UGLY headwind that never really seemed to get behind us.

I don’t have the splits, but right now I’m just reveling in the fact that I didn’t cross the finish line last and while I was last in my category, I most definitely wasn’t DFL. At least I don’t think so. But who the hell cares — I had a big fat giant grin on my face the entire time and this was the first race where I didn’t have a gigantic attack of the hateful doubt monster throughout most of the race. I was incredibly relaxed, setting up was very quick and orderly and while I was surrounded by nervous people, I never really picked that up. The swim was fast and I never saw the guy behind me — for once we seeded ourselves perfectly. I didn’t stop in the pool, didn’t change stroke, just swam strong freestyle.

The only bad thing was it was over so quickly. I hung around the inside of the Y while waiting for my swim start (mostly with a good tri friend and our parents) and didn’t watch any of the race other than what I was racing.

More later when I’ve finally had a chance to eat (stomach is still rejecting food.) Wish I had the energy to go on a recovery ride, but that will have to wait until tomorrow.

*happy*

PS: it hurts more to sit than it does to stand. How the hell did that happen?

Joe told me to ride an easy 45 minutes today. Given that I haven’t worked out all week and my last brick a week ago was pretty pathetic, I worried that 45 minutes the day before would be really exhausting.

So after I picked up my packet and saw lots of friendly faces, I decided to just ride the whole course.

I’ve become one of those jerks who says, what, it’s ONLY 10 miles. I rode it slowly and comfortably. No mashing, no pushing, just a little shoving up the small hills. In the end, it took about 50 minutes — slower than I’d like (and certainly slower than last year.) But I also had a very stiff headwind that’s likely a preview of race day and I wasn’t pushing very hard. Actually, like not pushing at all. I barely broke a sweat and just felt energized afterward.

Right now I’m like a horse chomping at the bit, waiting to be let out of the gates. I’m excited, I’ve got a ton of energy and I’m super calm. I woke up this morning with the biggest case of butterflies I’ve ever felt — I’m glad the five hour drive seemed to wear them out.

I also solved the trisuit seam issue. I invested in a seamless pair of Spanx whateverthehelltheycallit. The seams throughout the piece, including the crotch, are all flat. I tried it on under the suit before buying it (and it cost almost as much as the damn suit itself) and it seems to work perfectly. I just wish the entire trisuit was made out of that kind of compression material.

It’s kind of cool how second nature this race prep has become. Packing is quicker than ever, organization is easier than ever, and I walked into the pre-race meeting feeling seriously out of place. I just smiled at the questions and the responses. Been there, done that, remember it well. Hopefully now I can pass the torch to the n00bs and hope they fall in love with this sport as much as I have.

12 hours until race time. I don’t even get in the water until 11:50am. Warming up will be easy. STAYING warm will be the biggest challenge of all tomorrow.

Anne Kelly, president and founder of Junonia, was awesome enough to leave a comment about their new triathlon clothes. I wanted to put it on the main page because she gives some really great information in it.

Hi all. Nicole is right – Junonia is the kind of company that always tries to respond to customer concerns. We really do appreciate feedback of all kinds, even criticisms like these. We’ve passed this blog entry around the office and had some conversations about the issues Sarah raises.

The vague descriptions are being remedied as you read this. Our new copywriter is in the process of re-writing all of the product descriptions in our catalog and on the website. We’re re-evaluating each entry and working to make them as descriptive and informative as possible. In the meantime, if you or any of your readers would like to try this apparel for yourselves, we’d like to offer you 10% off any triathlon apparel order. Just enter the code BIKE01 when ordering online. This offer will be good until May 31.

As far as the individual items go, we asked Nancy Mendele, our Vice President of Merchandising to explain the design process behind each piece in our triathlon line. Hopefully, this will assuage some of your concerns. If not, please contact me and let me know what specific design changes would be most useful to you as a triathlete. Here’s what Nancy had to say:

“Our triathlon pieces were designed directly from garments actually used by triathletes, specifically the singlet and short. These pieces are designed to provide muscle support while running or biking, to wick away sweat and to protect the skin with 50+ UPF. The front zipper on the singlet allows the user easy on and off in transition times. Our mesh side panel is designed to provide support and wicking when the body is stretched forward on the bike. We included a strong, supportive shelf bra that even supports me (no small task!).

“We decided not to include a pad in the shorts, as we determined that most tri shorts are not padded for speed and drying in transition timing. Leaving out the pad also keeps the shorts more flexible for running. The gripper elastic is more comfortable and stays in place when running better than any other shorts that I have tested. The short has contrast stitching for looks but also for easy identification.

“The sleeveless and short sleeve aquatards have been greatly improved since we designed the originals. We updated the fit and fabric. The new fabric is much more supportive and breathable and lighter weight than the old one. It functions wonderfully for swimming and running because it’s quick-drying, non-binding and non-chafing, with 50+ UPF. The jacket is intended mainly as a layering piece for sub-50-degree workouts.

“The spa suit is designed for swimming events, with quick-drying properties so it can be worn as an undergarment with bike short and singlet layered over the top.”

Thanks for your thoughts and for helping us serve you better,

Anne Kelly, President and Founder
Junonia Ltd.
annekellypresident@junonia.com
651-365-1830 ex. 100

I did want to add somethings about the one piece I bought. It has incredible top support — so good I’m not wearing anything underneath. While I’m blessed with a small chest, I also have a load of marshmallow in there that needs some wrangling. Also, their new redesign of my usual training swimsuit has made it the best suit I’ve ever owned — it actually feels like a compression suit, which I love. If I could get away with it, I’d wear it under my clothes every single day :-)

I’ll make sure to post a full report on how the one piece works. I don’t anticipate buying the separates because I like the idea of a one piece (no peep show from behind if I bend over wrong) but those who do, please send in your reviews.

If only the weather forecast didn’t call for upper 40s/low 50s during race time.

If only the pre-race e-mail didn’t give advice for racing in the rain (it’s not the rain that bothers me, it’s the rain on my glasses.)

If only I wasn’t totally exhausted and just wanted to sleep.

If only I didn’t still have so much to do tonight (but hey, the laundry is DONE.)

If only I had been able to find the liner I needed for the trisuit.

That said, I left work early, I’m off tomorrow and I’m taking monday off as well. My blood pressure has returned to normal and my kitty is playing inside my transition bag (which now means I have to clean the cat hair out, but it’s still cute.)

The only workout I got in this week was the short swim Monday. Joe wants me to do an easy 45 minute ride tomorrow, so I think I’ll check out the race course with Liz. (he also wants me to ride an easy 45 minutes Sunday. Probably a smart idea before the 4 hour drive home, but still. The thought is a tad overwhelming right now.)

Now I’m just debating on if I’m bringing my laptop with me or if this will be a 100 percent content free vacation.

As I told one of my co-workers, I had no idea a short swim like that would put me in such a good mood.

Even if I can’t fix the seam issue in the trisuit, it’s still a damn good swim suit. Perhaps most of my success this morning was the swimmer, but I felt a lot less drag while wearing the longer suit. It also dries very quickly, which is a nice thing.

I also learned that swimming with the form fitting cycling jersey is not worth the trouble. I had to work much harder just to maintain pace, so I’ll just put the jersey on in transition. Difficult, yes, but it will also save energy and perhaps time in the long run. And since I’m using a race belt this time, I’ll not be worried about ripping my number.

That said, this was the first swim workout since I don’t know when. I went easy, only doing 1200m. The first 500 or so was absolutely painful, but I also realized I was doing 100s in 1:50 — a MUCH faster pace than I’ve ever been able to maintain more than one set. I also did some timed 300s and they were 6:22 and 6:25. I did them at a comfortable pace that pushes but not kills — a pace I can do in a triathlon (slower than swim meet, because you gotta conserve energy.) My seed time is 6:45 — so I’m feeling quite relaxed about the swim. The most important thing will be to warm up properly — I’ll likely do 500m in the pool before the race starts and then spend time on the treadmill or running around the property to keep my HR up. If I can do that, I have a feeling the actual race will go pretty well — er at least the first leg :-)

It’s a week of preparation. There are so many things I need to buy that I haven’t had time to reup. Just bought new sunscreen and I need new bodyglide. I also need to get new orthotics for my shoes, but I won’t have time to break them in before Saturday.

Coach Joe said there’s really nothing I can do at this point to get faster for Smithfield, to just enjoy it as a training race and be prepared to get back on the bike the next morning for a recovery workout. Since I’ll still be in that area, I might just go have some fun in Yorktown.

As most of you know, finding technical athletic clothing in large sizes is difficult at best. Finding technical tri-specific clothing in my size is impossible. Manufacturers just don’t have the market for real trisuits in 3x and 4x.

Last year I improvised on everything and lost several minutes in T1 each race. I always started in a bathing suit. In T1, I’d put on a pair of cycling shorts and a jersey. Most triathletes aren’t taking that time to do that — they’re wearing tri-shorts or trisuits that they can wear in all three disciplines.

You don’t wear padded cycling shorts during the swim unless you want to get out of the water feeling like you’re wearing a soggy diaper (that stays soggy and heavy the whole time.) Tri-shorts and trisuits usually have thin chamois pads that can take being submerged in water for however long you’re swimming. It’s just enough of a layer that cuts down on saddle sores so that you’re not suffering in unnecessary ways while racing.

As many of us fat triathletes have said, tri-specific clothing is surprisingly versatile and could easily be marketed to non-triathletes. The major feature is flat or no seams in order to avoid chafing. The bottoms should have a thin chamois pad to make things a little more comfortable on the bike. If tops have a pocket, it should zip or Velcro shut so it doesn’t act as a parachute in the water (or at least have pretty tight elastic so it stays relatively closed.) You could market that to all sorts of people, such as those who want to wear cycling shorts that have a very thin pad, to rowers or kayakers or people who want to wear swim clothing that’s more modest than your average tankini or swimsuit.

Junonia came out this season with several clothing pieces that they’re marketing as triathlon wear. The news was hailed on numerous fat triathlete blogs and message boards as designers finally listening to the demands.

The thing is, Junonia designers didn’t actually design triathlon clothing. What they’re marketing as triathlon clothing are versions of their swim shorts and ‘aquatards’ from years past. The only thing that seems new is the QuikEnergy™ Triathlon Zip Singlet but the description is so vague that I can’t tell why it’s good for racing.

The tri shorts have no pad and look like they have no support — pretty much just like the old swim boyshorts they’ve been selling for years. Only difference for $20 is a back pocket with a zipper and grippers on 5-inch inseam legs.

The one piece “QuikEnergy™ Triathlon Zip Aquatard” is almost identical in design to the “Zippy Aquatard Swimsuit” they sold last year — this year it just costs more.

I was researching all of these pieces last season trying to figure out if it was worth it to make my own or improvise differently. I didn’t take the plunge last year because I wasn’t convinced it was. Last week I finally caved and bought the one piece, which fits perfectly and gives proper support in most areas. In fact, it would be perfect except for one thing: the seams. The numerous inner seams are at least 1/4 inch high and sticking straight out. I can tell there will be serious chafing issues just by walking around my apartment. And given my problems with saddle sores lately, the idea of severe chafing is enough for me to go back to bike shorts over a bathing suit.

I thought about hand stitching each seam down to being flatter, but I don’t have time nor patience for a partial solution. CP and KP suggested I buy a seamless liner of some sort, so I’ll be hitting Lane Bryant Monday to see what they have. I know they make what I’m looking for, it’s just hoping they have it in stock.

I’m going to see how that works and test it out in the pool this week. I figure that since Smithfield is only 10 miles, I’ll be fine without a chamois pad, but I know I’ll have to put padded shorts on over the suit (if it makes it through the first tests) for longer races. If it does work, then I just bought a super expensive swim suit that I won’t wear very much.

I guess I should shut up because it seems like some clothing manufacturers are listening and creating more clothing options for fat athletes. I just wish they’d go just a little further in technical apparel and give us REAL clothing instead of stuff with a triathlon label slapped on for marketing.

So, in closing;

Dear Junonia. Thanks for finally grasping the idea that fat girls can be athletes too. Now, could you please design the clothing correctly? Thanks, FGOAB!

A week ago I barely managed 25 minutes of riding/general activity.

Today I barely managed two hours. I fought like hell for that very slow, very painful brick. My HR was not cooperating and my leg muscles felt like lead jelly.

In the end, I rode a little more than 12 miles and painfully and slowly walked/ran 1.5 miles. When I got home, I crashed for three hours. Hard sleeping crash. Only got out of bed because my cat was starving and was doing her absolute best to wake me from the grave.

I was hoping to ride tomorrow afternoon, but I don’t know how likely that will be. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and be brand spanking fresh in the morning.

This morning I woke up realizing that I’m not training for Smithfield. Smithfield is a training day for me. I’m training for Eagleman and beyond. This is the first race of the season and it’s really only to have fun and check my legs. It’s a short course for me and will be the shortest course all year (3sports is just a tad longer in the bike and the transition areas are bigger.)

As CP put it this afternoon, some of the best training is done while racing. Don’t worry about results and just go for fun. I keep trying to tell myself that, but then I remember where I was earlier this month and it gets sort of depressing. And then I start thinking about Angels Race, which is two weeks after Smithfield, and start to get serious butterflies because I haven’t been doing the hill training I need to do.

Eagleman seems so far away, except it isn’t. I need to handle being on the bike for 4 hours. I’m not worried about the swim because I’ve been increasing that fitness steadily and comfortably – 2000m is a normal workout (actually, even a little less than a normal workout.) I can find more time to maintain and increase that swimming fitness, but riding is a different story. Eagleman is pancake flat and I live in the mountains. Pancake flat means I need to ride with a strong steady cadence for four hours. With hills, at least I get a break on the downhills. The best place for me to train for Eagleman around here is the bike path along the river. I can get in long gradual uphills and long flats that have headwinds, but that path is so damn boring after a while.

The longest I’ve been on my bike was about 35 miles in January – three hours. I’d feel so much more comfortable had I not lost several weeks this month and had the time and energy to go put in long rides. Today’s 12 miles hurt, sucked and made me question why the hell I think I’ll be able to do a strong 56 miles by the first week of June.

Time to stop fretting and start making long range training plans. I can do this, right?